Ignorance is Bliss
by Michelle H. C. Zhu
Summary: Manjyome hated Rei. Sadly, his duel spirits don't believe him even after watching their Aniki crossdress under the threat of blackmail from losing in strip poker to a thirteen–year–old girl.


"Ugh."

Despite the overall suggestiveness, Manjyome couldn't get Saotome Rei out of his mind during the first couple of days of September. For some reason or another, her face (which was very, very, very ugly!) stayed plastered in his thoughts day and night, 24/7, not leaving him alone for an _instant _ever since she suddenly decided to poof out from oblivion to join Osiris Red and bunk with Juudai and the others.

At least **he** was in Obelisk Blue now. But that still wasn't good enough.

Manjyome had lain in his bed the first night with his eyes pinned on the ceiling, desperately trying to fall into the unconscious abysm called 'sleep' which, by the way, he couldn't do until two in the morning, but really…who was counting the hours? So he was going crazy and that was putting it _mildly_. Most people would classify this behavior under obsessive but he called it rancorous mania—especially when he discovered he had **dreamt** of her. Oh, and the fact his duel spirits weren't cooperating did not help the situation at all. Those three stooges loved to spend their mornings materializing out of Manjyome's deck (no matter how tightly he kept them shut in the card holder), flitting around distractedly, and exchanging juicy gossip behind their Aniki's back. The fourth morning after Rei's arrival was no different.

"No kidding!" Ojama Green exclaimed when his oldest brother informed him about Manjyome's sleep-induced mutterings of Rei. "Has Aniki finally gotten over Asuka-dono?"

"I bet this Rei-chan is prettier than Asuka-dono!" Ojama Black chimed in.

Ojama Yellow chortled and covered his mouth, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper. "Well, we all know Aniki only goes for really pretty girls…"

A dark aura suddenly loomed behind them. "Hey munchkins," came a menacing voice. "_I can hear you_."

But instead of screaming bloody murder and running for their lives, the duel spirits merely giggled. "L-O-V-E!" the shouted in union.

Infuriated, Manjyome hurled all three of them into the wall where they poof-ed into oblivion upon impact. It served them right! Love, his ass. It was just the opposite. He hated…**HATED**…her. He couldn't hate her enough. He felt anger boil through his veins every time he heard her wretched name. Manjyome wanted nothing more than to poison her then tear out her spinal cord and strangle her with it while he bathed in her pool of green blood. Admittedly, it was unusual of him to be like this. Even when Manjyome was livid at somebody, this wasn't the detest he hoarded for his older brothers or anger towards a certain dropout boy. This was different. The fact she was a petulant little 13-year-old girl who wasn't technically _allowed _to be in Osiris Red brought them off to the wrong foot, though frankly, Manjyome rather step on both her feet than try to repair any damage done.

…it was so retarded. And she was still ugly. She was. _Really._

She was nothing like Asuka. Asuka was beautiful physically and mentally and had a beautiful personality and gentle heart. To Manjyome, Asuka was one of the most pure-hearted people he knew. On the other hand, Rei had this underdeveloped body, childish mind, and was very, very ugly, inside and out—mostly inside though—yes, very ugly inside—she was _evil _inside—like right now, for example—

"What are you so sad about, Manjyome-kun?" a repulsively sweet voice slurred into his ear.

Manjyome scowled. Why did they have to play this horrid game anyhow? There were so many better things to accomplish on the first rainy day of the year and strip poker was not on the top of that list. He hated strip poker. He really did. Mostly because he _sucked _at it.

"Just make your move," he snarled at the indigo-haired girl, tugging at his pants uncomfortably.

"It's a shame you're angry just because you're losing," Rei commented smugly. She fanned his cards on the floor. "Royal flush."

Rei was the only one fully clothed much to everybody else's surprise (and their relief; she'd barely hit _puberty_, after all.) The rest of the players had various pieces of clothing and accessories thrown into the middle of the circle they were sitting in. Nobody knew how a thirteen-year-old girl acquired such advanced poker skills, but when questioned, Rei answered with a story starting with, "_Well, one time at duel camp…"_ When she got to the part where she and Martin were alone in a tent one night, Kenzan hastily interrupted by stating it was his turn.

Speaking of whom, Kenzan was the second in line, having only pulled off his bandanna and necklace made of fake dinosaur bones. (_"Not fair! It's not clothing, Kenzan-kun!" "Don't make me knock your teeth out, Marufuji-sempai."_) He found poker rather interesting, despite having no connections to dinosaurs whatsoever. In his spare time, Kenzan asked Misawa to teach him a few logical strategies relating to the card game.

Kenzan laid out a decent hand, announcing, "I have a Full House-saurus."

Shou was a bit less fortunate and had his shoes, socks, and his Obelisk Blue uniform scrunched up in the middle of the circle so now he was only clad in a thin t-shirt and a pair of pants. He knew only a bit about poker from watching his brother play on an occasional evening, but didn't fare so well in it.

Shou dropped mediocre hand, stating, "Two Pair."

Juudai had…well…he found the raindrops more interesting than the game and stared at the raindrop-sprayed window while daydreaming about the E-Heroes and pondering whether Burst Lady's Burstfire was stronger than Featherman's Featherbreak. Upon noticing his friends staring at him, Juudai looked away from the window.

"Uh, what?"

"…"

"…"

"…maybe we should get Johan to play cards with him-su," Shou remarked with a sweatdrop even though he knew nobody wanted to scamper through the downpour to the Obelisk dorms just to drag Johan here—even for Juudai's sake.

They turned to Manjyome.

Manjyome was by far the worst off out of the five. His shoes were the first to be stripped off, following his socks, the frayed North Academy uniform, his turtleneck shirt, his belt, and as a last resort—his card holder. The only thing he had left on was the pair of tight black pants which meant he was also packing tight heat by openly flashing everybody in the room his chiseled abs.

This would have been good if Manjyome was playing with surfer boy Fubuki and a bunch of his fangirls like Momoe and Junko. But his shirt-stripping performance among his totally-not-Fubuki peers resulted in an unsuppressed snicker from the pubescent Rei who fangirled over Juudai like no tomorrow, a snort from Kenzan who had an uncanny liking for Lolita-clad dolls, and a giggle from Shou whose interests glided between the Black Magician Girl and Thunder Nyan Nyan (neither of them who were real). Then there was Juudai who was so engrossed with his E-Hero fantasies that he barely noticed the boy next to him had taken of his shirt. When he did notice ten minutes later, he merely shrugged and brushed it off that this room was getting too hot.

Manjyome looked mortified. He threw down his hand and mumbled, "…High Card."

"You're the weakest link," Shou sang. "Now you gotta take off the rest of your clothing-su!"

Manjyome blinked. "Hey, wait a minute…" Daggers flew from onyx black eyes in Juudai's direction. "…**he **didn't even say his hand!"

They looked at Juudai. Then they looked Manjyome.

"Exempt!" the three of them recited simultaneously.

Bewilderment was written all of his face. "How come _he's_ exempt and I'm not?" Manjyome demanded after a moment of recovery.

"Because we all love Juudai-sama and _hate_ you," Rei stated simply.

"Aniki's special," Shou chirped.

"Get with the program-saurus," Kenzan added in.

Manjyome was devastated.

"Can we—"

"—no, let's keep playing this game," Shou interrupted cheerfully. He turned to Kenzan. "It was your idea in the first place, am I right, Kenzan-kun?"

"Hell yeah, Marufuji-sempai. It's real fun, you know," Kenzan harmonized, closing his eyes and nodding in mild sadism. He turned Rei. "Don't you agree, Rei-chan?"

"Of course! Mostly because I'm winning!" Rei flashed a peachy smile before turning to Juudai. "What say you, Juudai-sama?"

"Whatever works, Rei." The brunette absentmindedly traced a finger on the windowpane. "Hey, I think that raindrop looks like a Kuribo!"

Manjyome was too worried about preserving his self-esteem to slap the dropout boy on the head for his stupidity. He blanched. "Alright, alright, I lost this round…but let me get a freebie, ok?" he said desperately and jabbed a conspicuous finger at the last remaining article of clothing he was clad in.

Shou and Kenzan were about to open their mouths and sardonically reply, "_How about no_?" when Rei cut them off first.

"We can cut you some slack…" She smirked. "…under one condition."

He shot her a glare. "Uh, like what?"

Rei tapped her chin ponderingly and racked her mind for a deviously sadistic plan. What was something that would really embarrass Manjyome for the rest of his life? What would be the one thing he would really hate to do? After a few moments of brooding, Rei snapped her fingers and a sneaky grin far too gleeful for the raven-haired boy's liking appeared on her face.

"Oooh, Manjyome-kun…I know how much you fixate over Asuka-san…so…how about pretending to be her? What do you say to crossdressing?" Rei smiled harmlessly.

"…" said Manjyome.

Kenzan exploded into loud guffaws.

"…" said Manjyome.

Shou sniggered madly into a pillow.

"…" said Manjyome.

Juudai yawned.

"…" said Manjyome.

_Curse _her. Curse her to some sort of fat friar in hell. Curse her and her ugly face.

* * *

The next day, the rain had all but ceased. Everyone welcomed the prospect of a sunny morning except for one ebony-haired teenager for the sole reason that bad weather always reduced the population of students hanging outside. Except it wasn't raining today.

"Oh, _my god_—this is too rich—is that you, Manjyome—in—_hah hah_—a _miniskirt_?"

Houzan's nose was promptly greeted by Manjyome's fist.

_

* * *

_

Two days after the strip poker incident, which resulted in the loss of his authority as an elite _and _the respect from Asuka, Manjyome was back in his comfortable clothing: the sweater, the trenchcoat, and thank heavens—the _trousers_. He swore to stay away from skirts of any length for the next billion, jillion years.

In the meanwhile, Manjyome planned revenge. He was angry, which was to be expected, of course, after being forced to prance around campus in a girl's uniform (unexpectedly donated by Kochou Ran who Rei had bumped into the previous day) for a full twenty-four hours but it still scared the undergarments off everyone else passing through that hallway, who would rather bounce on pogo sticks dipped in animal rot than face the wrath of a disgraced man scorned.

_I'll slaughter that little devil even if I actually have to **slaughter** her! I'm going to make her suffer! And pay! And— _

"You're thinking about her aren't you, Manjyome no Aniki?" Ojama Yellow said bluntly. He had materialized out of thin air only nanoseconds ago where as Manjyome was stalking back and forth through the hallways.

Completely shocked by his duel spirit's sudden intrusion, Manjyome gawked at what most people would have believed to be a patch of thin air. He squinted at the potbelly speedo-clad beast.

"How in the world…what in the world…what are you _doing _here, you little twit?" he roared and managed to scare a few Ra Yellow students walking past him.

Ojama Yellow spread his arms wide and flashed a huge beam. "My brothers and I have decided that you should really search for a new love in your life! Like that girl you keep muttering about in your sleep!" His grin turned into a sulk. "Asuka-dono only loves dueling, remember? And she _hates _you for your sudden fetish in female garments…"

Manjyome was about to take Ojama Yellow's Duel Monsters card and shred it into a thousand pieces for stating such a candid fact when all of a sudden, both of Yellow's brothers appeared from Manjyome's card holder and floated in front of his face, thus distracting him from his homicidal intentions.

"We're not saying Asuka-dono is bad," Ojama Green stated in a matter-of-fact way. "It's just that I still have bruises from the last time her Cyber Angel Benten smacked us into oblivion!"

The black-haired boy opened his mouth when Ojama Black hastily interjected. "What my brother is trying to say is wouldn't it be embarrassing for our Manjyome no Aniki to be in a love with a girl who he couldn't beat in a duel? You can still be Asuka-dono's friend, you know! Maybe she can give you some dueling tips!"

Manjyome's face turned red as volcanic lava as he was about to shout how '_he didn't need dueling advice from Tenjoin-kun!'_ when once more, he was cut off by another Ojama.

"Because of this, we would so completely support it if you decided to make Rei your girlfriend," his original duel spirit proclaimed. Ojama Yellow wrapped his spaghetti thin arms around his body and fluttered his eyelashes suggestively. "We all know you care about her."

"…"

He stared at them in utmost disgust. His duel spirits had missed the metaphorical bull's-eye on such a level of vastness that Manjyome swore the metaphorical darts they threw would have hit him rather than the metaphorical dartboard. He was also grinding his teeth so hard that his enamels would be powder soon enough.

"You. **Morons**. I wouldn't make that Juudai-obsesser my girlfriend even if she was the last female in this universe _AND_ somebody paid me to do it! I'm not going to date her. I don't want to date her. **What I want to do is to rip her brains out, nail it to the floor, and set it on fire**! I hate her—hate hate hate hate **_hate_** her!"

Ojama Yellow, Ojama Green, and Ojama Black stared back at him unresponsively. Manjyome slapped his forehead and muttered, '_blasted nitwits'_ under his breath.

"Let me phrase it this way." He draped a hand over his heart and pumped a passionate fist into the air. "I, Manjyome Thunder, am in love with Tenjoin-kun and Tenjoin-kun…**ONLY**!"

Another round of silence. The hallway was now completely empty due to his excessive ranting towards air molecules.

"…but she doesn't love you back," Ojama Yellow finally said, plaintively. "She thinks you're crazy."

Manjyome was about to tell the yellow bugger to shove a sock into it when Ojama Green interrupted with a mournful wail of, "_OUR MANJYOME NO ANIKI IS GOING TO BE A SPINSTER FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!_"

"_HE'S GOING TO GROW OLD AND DECREPITED AND DIE BY HIMSELF_!" Ojama Black added loudly to the melodramatic ambiance. "_WE'LL NEVER GET GRANDCHILDREN!_"

Manjyome was suddenly surrounded by three shrieking, bawling duel spirits. **Wonderful**. Like he needed any more strain on his threadbare sanity. Before he knew it, the rest of his deck materialized out of nowhere and every single weak monster from Spirit of the Breeze to Catnipped Kitty were clinging onto him like paperclips to a really powerful magnet. To add onto the predicament, the infamous Black Scorpions gang who were once part of the Seven Star Assassins emerged right in front of his eyes much to Manjyome's dismay.

"Uh, the truth is we don't have a clue—_sniffle_—what's going on," Chick the Yellow admitted, draping his forearm over his eyes and feigning the art of crying.

"But we—_sniffle_—heard the commotion—_sniffle_—and decided to join the party," added in Cliff the Trap Remover, wiping away a fake tear of sorrow.

"It beats hanging—_sniffle_—around in your crummy old card holder—_sniffle_—any day," Meanae the Thorn said, sobbing into a handkerchief.

"…are there buns at this party?" Gorg the Strong asked stupidly.

"So yeah—_sniffle_—we're grieving for the sake of grieving," finished the weeping leader of the Black Scorpions, Don Zaloog. "Go buy a diamond ring, Mr. Moneybags, and marry this girl."

Manjyome gawked at them.

"…**_OR WE'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE_**!" wailed the five gangsters simultaneously and over-exaggerated streams of tears burst out of their eyes anime-style.

More gaping. More blinking. As the reality of the situation sunk into his numb mind, Manjyome's pale face turned a lovely hue of crimson from the sheer amount of embarrassment he was being put through by every single card in his deck.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP OR **I** WILL MAKE **YOUR** LIVES MISERABLE! YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS. I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER, AND **YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT**."

Upon the conclusion of his rant, every one of his monsters stopped their overdramatic crying, including the Ojamas. Manjyome had just executed a rather decent reenactment of Mount Vesuvius erupting in blazing magma and they were the Pompeii in this state of affairs. The spirits stared at their master fearfully before one brave soul finally broke the silence.

"…so how about we compromise? Me, Don, and Cliff will steal you the ring and you give it to the girl," Chick the Yellow suggested feebly.

With an enraged battle cry, Manjyome chucked his entire deck out the window.

* * *

Rei was very, very happy.

She had managed to humiliate that snobby jerk yesterday. Manjyome totally deserved his punishment; it served him right for disrespecting her Juudai-sama in the first place! But that wasn't the main reason why she was so happy. What fueled her cheerfulness was the fact she'd manage to make a new friend. Kanou Martin was quiet and timid but Rei loved him dearly. She also decided while rainy days where amusing, to say the very least, she liked the sunshine better. So she called up Martin, and after a spectacular being-dragged-out-of-the-Ra-Yellow-dorms-while-Kabayama-clung-to-his-leg performance, the two first years found themselves sitting on a bench and licking ice cream cones.

"So, Marucchi, have you ever thought about the color blue?" Rei said, randomly, as she was the queen of randomness.

Martin tried to balance his ice cream scoop on his waffle cone. "It's blue?"

"Exactly, it's blue."

"...?"

"You probably like blue. Open blue skies under the wide prairie filled with columns of rice paddies…"

"Actually, I lived in Paris. I was a city boy."

"Oh. Right. I wasn't," she stated flatly, ignoring Martin's expression of confusion. "I mean, c'mon, it's so obvious. I have boobs. They're gigantic. They're like ice-capped mountains. Asuka-san's sooo jealous of them. Juudai-sama can't resist them. Right, Martin-kun? Watch me jiggle them!"

_THUMP_.

"What happened? Are you ok? Answer me! Martin-kun? Marucchi? _Marucchi_?"

Then out of the blue, Rei felt something heavy hit her in the head. With a loud yelp, she stumbled and almost fell over. She rubbed her head and stared at the object that had hit her. "Who was the dork that just threw their deck holder at me?" Rei shouted, momentarily distracted from her comatose friend.

Silence. Growling angrily, she picked up the aforementioned box before flinging it through the open window closest to her.

She planted her hands on her hips and stuck out her tongue at the window. Then she swung around and continued fretting over Martin, completely unaware that the open window closest to her also happened to be the one Manjyome was perched atop of. The youngest of the Manjyome group was licking the disgraced wounds that a bunch of pipsqueaks inflicted on his pride when an unexpected object thwacked him in the back of his head, thus knocking to the floor.

"…argh…"

Pain flooded his senses. Darkness consumed him.

* * *

The next thing he knew, it was dry. He felt the waterless bed sheets touching his skin. He had a flaming headache that needed to be doused and the stinging clean smell filling his nostrils didn't exactly help. Well, there was no use pretending to be asleep any longer. Manjyome opened his eyes to see a pair of silver tennis ball-shaped orbs magnified by the round glasses staring worriedly back at him. Manjyome yelped. Did this shrimp greet all people waking from an unconscious state like this?

"Manjyome-kun. Are you feeling better?"

He pushed Shou's face out of the way and sat upright in the bed. This wasn't his bed. This wasn't his room. Manjyome rubbed the back of his head only to realize there were bandages present there.

"What happened?" he asked groggily.

"We found you unconscious on the floor in the hallway," Shou explained patiently and jabbed a thumb at the tanned boy residing in the back. "Kenzan-kun took the liberty of carrying you to Ayukawa-sensei. You're at the infirmary now."

Well, that explained the white sheets and that stinging smell he identified as rubbing alcohol.

"Here are your cards, by the way." Kenzan walked over and held out a rectangular box which Manjyome accepted reluctantly. "We found it lying next to you-saurus."

Manjyome decided to deal with the spirits later and concentrated on the more important issue at hand. "So who's the smart aleck that knocked me out? I'll beat 'em to a pulp." _After I'm done with that brat_, he thought venomously.

Shou and Kenzan shrugged.

"I dunno."

"Beats me."

Manjyome was trying to get to the bottom of this mystery when three voices suddenly emitted from the deck he was clutching.

_"We were watching the whole thing, Manjyome no Aniki! It was your girlfriend who landed you here!"_

_"Yeah! Rei-chan's abuse is obviously a sign of her hidden affection!"_

_"Besides, Asuka-san** totally** digs Juudai!"_

"Hey, Manjyome!"

Speak of the devil. Manjyome wore the strangest expression on his face upon coming to the conclusion that fate was a terrible bitchy whore to jab his side with a very sharp stick by having Yuuki Juudai appear in the flesh. Said boy ambled through the door with a wave, followed closely by an aquamarine-haired teenager the others instantly identified as one of the new transfer students, Johan Andersen.

"We heard you were in the infirmary—"

"—Juudai, _get down_—!" Johan abruptly burst out shouting.

Thanks to his mad quick reflexes, Johan was able to push down the brunette's head and duck under the bed railings just in the nick of time to miss the rubber-banded deck of cards that was hurled towards them with the velocity of a speeding bullet. It smashed against the wall, exploding with a shriek of, 'Manjyome no Aniki!' on impact which only the two newest occupants of the infirmary heard, but that was drowned out by an enraged roar.

"**_SHE'S NOT MY GIRL_**_FRIEND…"_

Before his lips could form another coherent word, onyx eyes rolled to the back of his head and Manjyome fell unconscious again, much to everyone's relief. Apparently, the knock on the head still had a toll on his health. Juudai and Johan peeked from under the bed. Shou got out of Kenzan's arms (which he had jumped into during his moment of fright).

"…I'll have…uh…Ayukawa-sensei…take care of him…" Shou said, twitching, hastily exited the room.

"Yeah, umm, I'll go with Marufuji-sempai…" Kenzan disappeared after him.

"Hey, wait!" Juudai hollered after them. "What's going on? Is there something I should know about?"

But Kenzan and Shou had both disappeared out of sight. Disgruntled, Juudai frowned but quickly glanced around when Johan placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Don't ask, Juudai, just don't ask. Believe me, sometimes ignorance is bliss."


End file.
